If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
