Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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