My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
