I skipped work to stalk him.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I believe in your delicious
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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