life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
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