giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
