I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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