well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
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I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
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Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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