I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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