She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Randomize