To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
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I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
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It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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