i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize