My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
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