oh god the rape fog is back!
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
