I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
