260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is Oprah even human
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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