Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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