I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
