Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
