the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
