this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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