One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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