No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
