would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
