The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
