Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
