Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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