You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
We had to coat check the pizza.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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