By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
