He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
