its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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