A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
