If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
