smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
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