I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
