Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
That accounts for only three of the penises
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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