She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
my liver is dry heaving
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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