He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
My balls are so social today.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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