i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Dignity is for republicans.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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