Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
we're making bets on your personal life
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
