No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
