butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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