My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
yea but for you.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES