If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
