Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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