just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
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