So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I pour the whiskey from now on
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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