dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
