quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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