I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
a search helicopter?!
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
