U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
