check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
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