The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
