a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
