Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize