He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
this hospital has no fireball
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
