I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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