My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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