can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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