I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
