Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
