why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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