bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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