first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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